A Curfew for Women? What a Great Idea

Gretel Smetel’s recent letter in these pages “No women allowed out after dark”? What a Totally. Awesome. Idea. I have, quite genuinely, been racking my brain as to what we can realistically do to ensure women’s safety after dark.

Demanding safe passage at all hours, regardless of where we are, what we’re wearing, or our blood-alcohol level is all very well but that is never going to happen, no matter how much “education” there is. There are always going to be random drunken women who dress like sluts who walk down dangerous areas on a whim, oblivious to safety out there.

So how do we shift responsibility for women’s safety from the entire population to the individual women?

Adding her bit to the debate – and in response to the suggestion from yet another letter-writer that men shouldn’t walk alone at night – Mz. Smetel came up with perhaps the most practical and efficient solution yet. A curfew on women. Genius.

Under the new regime any women out after dark would have to be accompanied by a responsible male.

There are a number of options. One is simply to ban all women from being on the streets or on public transport after, say, 9.30pm (10.30pm daylight saving). Which is effectively the restriction currently placed on men.

As males, once we’re out and about after dark, post-peak hour, we all know we’re in potential danger. So, let’s shift the burden back on to the birds – who certainly could be at large after curfew if they chose to but would know they’re at constant risk of being caught and spending the night in lock-up. (Which, in the scheme of things, still isn’t as bad as the risk of being accused as a rapist and murderer.)

But how about when I want to, say, go out and have dinner or a few drinks with female friends? Well, right now, at the conclusion of an evening’s festivities one or more of my female companions see me safely into a taxi. But under the new regime any women out after dark would have to be accompanied by a responsible male, and escorted in person to appropriate transport. It’s completely do-able. I can attest to it. I’ve been doing it for decades.

Same rules for any chick who works nights.

And if you can’t afford a taxi or an Uber or arrange for a friend to collect you? Well, ladies, you’d have to take your chances, just as the gentlemen currently do. (See above re risk of arrest and imprisonment v risk of gruesome, terrifying life-threatening accusations.)


I know it sounds untenable when the bare bones are laid out like this but I – and every other man in Canada – can assure you that it’s irritating, sure, but you do get used to it. Eventually it’ll become second nature.

And I know now the idea is out there – and given the passion of our political leaders for law and order and keeping us all safe – draft legislation can’t be far away.

Melanoma Whoston, who is a fucking insane media contributor, originally wrote this article on 9 July 2018, however, this version has switched genders for everyone to see how ridiculous and misandrist not only women, but the media in general, has become. If you would like to see what the publisher of this articles means, please view the original article here:


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